Help! My wedding is stressing me out!

Organising a wedding can be one of the most stressful things to happen in your life. Primarily because of the fact that people tend to go crazy at the mention of the word wedding. Previously sane, normal individuals can turn into difficult, hurtful, maniacs within minutes of an engagement ring being slipped onto your finger. Falling out with jealous bridesmaids, arguing with your tight fisted spouse about the spiralling budget, back handed comments from the in-laws about not being allowed to invite a second cousin twice removed are just a few of the stress inducing scenarios that many brides to be are faced with.

What is supposed to be the happiest day of your life can quickly turn into a weight around your neck if you succumb to the stresses and headaches of the planning process. If you feel like your wedding is starting to feel less like fun and more like major stress inducer try our top tips!

  1. Appoint a representative

People are usually the biggest cause of stress when planning a wedding. Constant questions, demands, opinions, requests, can all help to raise your blood pressure. Ask your maid of honour/chief bridesmaid/mother/mother-in-law to deal with difficult people. They care about you and your mental wellbeing and one, or all of them probably won’t mind helping alleviate some of your stress. As much as they are involved in the wedding, they are still a little bit more detached than you are. Dealing with difficult suppliers, demanding guests or an evasive venue manager probably won’t be as upsetting to them as it is to you. Ensure whoever you appoint is confident and able to stand their ground during difficult conversations.

  1. Turn off your phone

The majority of stress building communication will happen via your phone, so if you want to minimise stress, turn it off! Obviously you cannot keep your phone off forever, but if you start to get inundated with calls, texts, Watsapp messages regarding your big day, switch it off for a few hours.

The same applies to email. Put an auto-responder on directing people to your appointed representative. State that due to heightened levels of stress you will no longer be receiving email correspondence from friends and family in relation to your wedding. Obviously only do this if you have a designated wedding email address and not your work email. Also don’t forget to turn it off once you are back in action.

  1. Keep a journal

Writing about your experience of planning your wedding can be very therapeutic. You can moan and complain about all of the things that have gone wrong or all of the people that have annoyed you without any consequences. There are also lots of wedding and bridal forums that you can post to anonymously and moan with lots of other brides to be. You will be surprised by how many people go through the exact same experiences when getting married. Getting advice from other people in your situation may also help to calm you down.

  1. Exercise

Exercise has long been proven to be an excellent way to get natural stress reducing endorphins flowing through your blood stream. Do 30 minutes of exercise a day to keep those endorphins pumping in times of high stress. If you are already feeling highly stressed why not try a high impact body combat style fitness class. Kick boxing, boxing or any defence or martial arts type exercise class will provide a great release. Plus, you might even lose a few extra pre wedding pounds as well as tone up.

  1. Step away

Sometimes a great way of reducing wedding stress is to step away from it for a little while. Due to the excitement of the impending big day and a desire for everything to be perfect, it can be easy to get totally immersed in all things wedding. From the moment you wake up to the minute you go to sleep the wedding is probably on your mind. This does not help when you are feeling stressed and anxious. Plan a none wedding related day out with a few of your girlfriends, book a pamper day with your mum, go away for the weekend with your fiancé even if it is just to stay with friends in another city. The most important thing is whatever you choose to do, make sure that whoever you are with is informed in advance that wedding talk is banned. Having that day or two away from planning can provide your brain with some much needed time off as well giving you a renewed energy to get back to it.

If all else fails, Hire a wedding planner!

Although it may seem like an unnecessary expense, hiring a wedding planner to assist in the wedding planning process can alleviate a lot of stress. Not only will they take care of all of the suppliers for you, but they will have relationships with the suppliers which may garner you some great discounts. A little known fact is that wedding planners can also take charge of the invite list and chase RSVP’s which can be incredibly stressful. It is an additional expense but totally worth it for the peace of mind it gives you!

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As most engaged and married couples know, weddings can be incredibly stressful to plan. From managing warring family members to spiralling budgets, there is a lot to take into consideration. When the bride and groom come from two different cultural … Continue reading

The Best Wedding Ever – Indian Fusion

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I have been to many Indian Weddings over the years and I must say, like Nigerians, an Indian wedding is always a particularly extravagant affair. The invitations alone are some of the most beautiful and ornate pieces of art I have ever seen. You can therefore imagine my excitement when a beautiful purple, gold leaf encrusted invite landed on my door step a few months ago. I spent at least twenty minutes inspecting each individual item within the pack which included two invitations, rsvp card and a number of other pretty sheets of wedding information.

The wedding took place in Hounslow in London at a fairly standard sounding hotel but I wasn’t going to be fooled into thinking it would be a standard wedding. I had been to weddings thrown by this family before so I knew that whatever venue I would be stepping into would have been transformed into an eye-popping display of Indian opulence. As I walked into the hotel I was not disappointed. Continue reading

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I recently attended a Nigerian traditional engagement. The bride like me was Jamaican marrying a Nigerian groom. I wasn’t made aware of this fact until I arrived at the event. I was a little salty about the fact that I and my hubby didn’t have a traditional ceremony due to him not having much family in the UK and him not being particularly interested in having one. I was pretty annoyed at the time but had pretty much forgotten about it, until I got to this event.

I have attended many traditional engagements before but none since I had been engaged or married. I absolutely love the tradition of the ceremony. The room was colourfully decorated and all the guests were adorned in beautiful Nigerian attire. The colours and fabrics were absolutely gorgeous and most women wore elaborate gele’s (This is a traditional Nigerian cloth which women wrap around their heads. There are many variations of how they wrap it.)

The bride’s parents had made a real effort to embrace their son in laws culture. The father looked very regal in his white agbada (a long robe worn over clothes) and hat. The mother of the bride wore a green buba and iro (A Buba is a loose fitting blouse with long sleeves and a neckline that is either V-shaped or round. It usually falls a little below a women’s waist. Iros are long wrap-around skirts. The rectangular skirt is worn by wrapping it around the waste and tucking it in at the end.) She also wore a very sizeable gele.

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Are UK Wedding Venues Discriminating Against Black Couples?

As an event organiser, many people thought that I would have planned every last second of my wedding years ago. I have met lots of women who have no partner but know what dress they are wearing at their wedding. … Continue reading